Are you in the 'market' for a new relationship? Well you can't go and buy one like you do a blouse at your favorite store. Do you act as if that is what you are doing when you select someone to date? Most of us buy clothes with more discernment than we start a relationship. For instance, do you take the time to find out who he or she really is before you take off your clothes or spill out your entire life in one sitting? It isn't as easy as taking home that perfect blouse.
Relationships, contrary to the quick click computer life we seem to be living these days, takes time. Time! I understand that the beginning of a relationships can be anxiety provoking and make you feel uncomfortable and self-conscious and the eagerness to 'get started' can override slowing things down. Rushing can seem easier than allowing yourself to feel your emotions but you need these emotions. They are normal and may be important warning signs.
Slow down, take your time, ask the difficult questions, meet his or her friends/family. Learn how others interact with him/her and how she/he interacts with them. What kind of activities do you do with this person? Will this person do the activities you like too? Do you just 'hang out' when you really want to 'go out'?
If you are choosing a mate for the rest of your life, isn't the rest of your life worth a good slow start to making sure this is the right person? Find out how this person resolves problems or does he/she just ruminate on the problem then dump it in your lap? What happens when this person gets angry? Depressed? Anxious? How does this person handle money? Are they neat or a total slob not caring about her/his environment?
Relationships are complicated and complex. Take your time. Be authentic. Don't try to make yourself someone you are not. Are you willing to not be yourself at any price?
Before having sex make sure to ask if your new partner has any STDs. How often do they have unprotected sex. If they don't want you to use protection does that mean he/she is willing to become a parent?
Ask the difficult questions. Remember, one date can turn into a nightmare or a really great start to forever.