Friday, April 18, 2014

How to Not Let Chronic Illness Control You!

Anyone suffering repeated and persistent symptoms of chronic illness knows how much control you can lose over your days. No one truly understands the consuming nature of a chronic illness unless you suffer it yourself. Imagine a bad case of the flu repeating every ten days for the rest of your life or migraine headaches haunting you three times a month. Just the thought of it can be overwhelming, right?

Here are some tips to help with the negative effects these symptoms can have on your moods, relationships, and desire to keep living well:
1. write for 20 minutes a day about how you feel,
2. eat at least one meal of nothing but vegetables to supply the vitamins you need,
3. take Vitamin C to replenish this vital vitamin as it gets eaten up from the stress of illness,
4. have an affirmation that speaks to the well part of your body such as, I am well, I am well, I am well,
5. watch your thoughts because 87% of our self-talk is negative and chronic illness tends to increase these,
6. talk to a therapist about your stress, and
7. sit in nature once a day even if it means you sit near a plant for an hour each morning.

Chronic illness can close in on your thoughts and create havoc with your moods. Our bodies are designed to heal but they need our help. Start with your thoughts then work into your diet, environment, exercise, and making your bedroom uncluttered and comfortable. Get at least eight hours a night of sleep because our bodies heal most when we are resting.

Jan Marquart LCSW,
author of Write to Heal and other books that can be found on

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Is Your Spouse Having an Affair?

Affairs are a destructive force in a marriage. When a spouse has an affair it usually has nothing to do with loving the person outside the marriage. Cheating is a symptom that something is wrong in the marriage or in the person's individual life and although an affair might seem a good way to resolve it, it isn't. Affairs don't fix anything!

Stopping the affair is critical to start the healing process both for the injured spouse as well as for the marriage. This process can take years to heal, with therapy. The wound of betrayal cuts deep, and the spouse who cheated must remember that just because he/she has stopped the affair, it does not mean that the pain is over for the injured spouse. In fact, the pain might get worst for a while. The injured spouse will not be able to simply trust again that, 1. the affair is actually over, 2. if his/her spouse will not cheat again, or 3. if the marriage can be repaired. It only takes one minute to break trust but years to heal it.

If you feel attracted to a person other than your spouse, get help. Call a therapist and talk about the underlying issues for wanting to step outside your commitment. An affair is like suicide: it is a long term painful solution to a short term solvable problem.

Jan Marquart LCSW