Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never harm me. If you have lived through childhood you know that that sentence is not true. You know that because someone, at some point in your life, has hurt you with their words. Why is this? Because words have energetic power. Words are our language. They came about to express the energy we hold inside our bodies to communicate our experiences, needs, feelings, beliefs, and sensations. Words are our way to communicate this rich source of everyday living. That is their very purpose. Without that purpose, words have no power. One word put together with another word and then a longer series of words, tell stories. If harmful words do not hurt us it is because we have mentally arranged our thinking to not engage in their harmful power, but every living being knows that that process is not easy -- that's how we hope to behave after we have already been hurt. It is at that point that we begin to employ coping skills, right?

Language is treated like anything else that is familiar, and that is that we forget their power. We often speak without the moment to moment mindfulness that the words we say are powerful and have an effect on the listener. Now imagine, if you will, that you are going inside your life content to find the right words to speak  to what ails you, what has remained dormant-as in a secret, lay in suppressed dreams, reveal feelings of love, and describe the uniqueness of what you have lived through. All of life owns a powerful energy that can heal you, and if shared, can teach others.

This is the power of story. Write it - speak it - share it - heal yourself - heal others. Post your story on www.AboutTheAuthorNetwork.com under the appropriate heading on the menu bar. Then, enjoy being published and having shared your personal powerful story!
Keep the pen moving,
Jan
CEO and Founder of About the Author Network

Writing Is a Great Healing Tool!

Although I write on issues for physical health on this site, I would like to post another passion of mine which is the use of writing for healing. Listen to this U-Tube video I just produced to introduce you to how writing and healing has worked in my life. But not just mine, it also has worked in dozens of lives of clients and for women around the world I have taught on Story Circle Network, an online writing course for women.

http://youtu.be/hJ6osf_vdT4

Today we have toxins of all types in everything we ingest and everything we buy. Why not detox our emotions and minds so we can be able to think clearly? My goal is to support health and wellness. Writing is part of it. I want to pass this on to you. If you write and are healing from it, drop me a line. I'd love to hear from you.
Keep the pen moving,
Jan

Why is This Important to Heal?

Wondering what this question addresses? It addresses the activity of writing. If you haven't written since high school don't stress about it. Writing for medicinal purposes has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with grammar, spelling, or whether you are a good writer or not. The only thing necessary is to write with the most accurate emotional content you can muster up. This means you cannot lie. No, I mean, you cannot lie. Even if you try to fake your emotions or to spill out an impression of yourself different from the truth, the words will come out of your pen with such distress you will not be able to stand it. That's why writing is the best medicine, besides laughing of course, because it addresses the truth. We are not built to stifle toxic emotional situations and remain well. So, here is how to start.
1. Sit with pen and paper and take a few deep breaths. The breath is a fabulous nerve calmer so make sure you use it to help your body. Your breath and your body already have a symbiotic relationship so you won't have to do anything but let the breath in and out.
2. Think of the emotional issue upsetting you and write the feelings connected to the event. For instance,
        I am so angry and my stomach is burning hot.
         I am fearful about ....... because it makes me ......
   get the picture?

3.  Include all sensory details.
4. Write who said what and include your thoughts.
5. Write how you wished the situation had unfolded.
And most importantly -
6. Write out how you can make peace with the matter. This might involve forgiveness, a face-to-face confrontation, writing a letter of apology --
Do this exercise 20 minutes a day for only 3 days.
Let me know how this worked for you. If you need further help you can check out my Unveil the Wounded Self - Write to Heal workshop here: http://abouttheauthornetwork.com/resources/therapeutic-writing-courses/unveil-the-wounded-self-write-to-heal-with-jan-marquart
I am the author of Write to Heal which can be purchased at www.JanMarquart.com
Keep the pen moving,
Jan

This is the Most Powerful Relationship

We have many relationships in our lives but the most powerful relationship is the one we have with our families. Why is that when so many of us have conflicts and hurt feelings because of family members? Because there is familiarity, love, and a deep bond. In all the years I have practiced family counseling as an LCSW, I am inspired by the power in the family unit to help, heal, inspire, encourage, support, uplift, and love the members of its family system.

Too many times I have seen individuals take this sacred relationship for granted. Children especially haven't matured enough yet to understand the strength and fortitude that relatives evince as they stand by those who suffer. If not careful, the entire family structure can fall apart leaving members broken, hurt, outcast, alone, and powerless. With family therapy, family members can get support and assistance to put the structure back in place so its members can again be able to hold their own and increase the family strength.

If  you find your family going through a difficult time, do not hesitate to search for a family therapist in your community. All families can regain a healthy balance.
Until next time,
Jan

Even These Healthy Plants Can Be Dangerous

When we walk into a health food store for supplements we expect to buy products that will help us. Still, there is no guarantee so know what you are buying and speak to the naturopath on staff if you have not taken the product before or have any questions. Some people are allergic to fruit, nuts or other food items, and supplements can give us negative reactions as well. Herbal formulas can be grown and sold by anyone and it is more dangerous to take them if you are buying them from an unlicensed or uneducated person. These products probably will not be sold in stores but even so, be cautious about taking something just because it was recommended. This post isn't meant to scare you but it is meant to make you more aware of taking a product just because a friend or family member recommends it.
In 1988 I bought a bag of herbs from a woman who claimed she was a nurse educated in the field of herbal concoctions. Turns out she had used another woman's identity, someone with the same name who was licensed and educated.
I was never in the habit of taking anything that came along but when I saw an ad in a popular health magazine I didn't question it. Three days after taking the herbal concoction as directed I was rushed to the hospital, awoke from a coma five days later fully paralyzed.
I still take herbal concoctions when needed but now I take them only when prescribed by a licensed acupuncturist, naturopath, or clinical nutritionist. Natural does not insure safety. Hemlock is a natural herb but I don't sprinkle it on my salad. Would you?
To learn more about what I went through with this experience check out my memoir, The Breath of Dawn, a Journey of Everyday Blessings, www.JanMarquart.com.
Be safe, know what you are ingesting, and get educated.
Until next time,
Jan

Stressed?

Ah, the Christmas shopping and the race to beat the clock. It is unavoidable right? Sometimes this excited frenzy can be what we love about the holidays. Stores are filled with Christmas decorations, sentimental holiday music plays through the air, everything is festive and in celebration. It all seems glorious in some hectic kind of way until our credit card bills come in around the middle of January. Then we can find ourselves questioning if so and so really needed this or if we really had to buy that. We will not be loved less if we spend less. Love does not work that way, not true love anyway. So here are a few ideas:
1. In January open a Christmas account at your bank. Next December buy gifts that do not go over the amount saved.
2. Pick one item, say books, and buy everyone a book according to his interests. Each bookstore has a local section so you can buy books signed by the author. Books make wonderful and lasting gifts.
3. Use a grab bag system. Everyone picks one name from the grab bag and buys for only that one person.
Hope these ideas help to decrease holiday shopping stress. Remember, this is a season about love and relationships. So focus on that first.
Have a blessed holiday season and a new year of fulfilled dreams!
Jan

How to Think Positive Thoughts

Many people are going through major challenges. Seniors are out of work exhausting their savings. Cancer is becoming far too common an illness. Marriages are falling apart. Families are struggling. How does one stay positive? Can you change the fact of the circumstance? No. Can you make pain go away just by wishing? No. Here is the best way to do it. See yourself as a warrior. Set your inner vision to winning the battle with kindness and love so you can feed your enthusiasm to keep going with strength and vitality. Step away from anyone who blames you for the war in the first place. It is irrelevant who started it. Take a warrior's stance in mind, body, and spirit and then move into the next step on the front line. That is how you stay positive - not in battle - but with compassion and love and a moving through. We cannot change black to white and white to black. We can change our internal energy to strength from defeat.
Too many people say you have to twist the words in your mind until you find something positive to think. You can certainly do that if you wish. Our thinking does affect our bodies and emotions. But overcoming is a full body experience. Be the warrior that you are. You were born with internal strength. It is lying dormant inside you. Bring it up. Activate it. Stare into your eyes in the mirror and declare that you are a warrior of life and that you are able to get through your circumstances. Being positive is not a fashion statement. It is a state of being and believing. Popping pills will ease the distress temporarily but they do not build strong human beings.
Make a list of your warrior qualities.
Keep the pen moving,
Jan