Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Red Flags

I posted this issue once before but I want to state it again. When women make a list of red flags about men based on past relationships they are missing the true red flags. I understand the want to never find a man like the one whom you just left. I understand writing out the kind of man you want and the kind of man you don't want. I understand the dream for the 'right' partner.

But if you listed everything you thought was a red flag about someone you might miss the boat. No one is perfect. The best way to find the right man is to listen to your own inner gut reactions. How many times were you bothered in your last relationship because he demeaned you or showed up late for dates? Maybe he stood you up a few times. Maybe he wouldn't invite you to family functions because he was embarrassed. Maybe he was rude to your friend, or cheated on his wife, or neglected his children when they were crying. All those times you made excuses for him because you thought his behavior was excusable might really have been your own intimidation from speaking to him or leaving him. Those inner red flags are the ones that said, I don't want a man who does this, this isn't okay, or I don't want a man to treat me and others like this, ever. Yet, you stayed because you paid more attention to him than yourself.

This is a huge one for women. They get themselves in deeper and deeper because they shut down their voices to listen to his, because they don't see their worth and stand up for it, because they don't feel wantable. Believe in yourself before you believe them.



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